Why am I so comfortable with the idea of being engaged to someone but not married to them? Engagement is only going to lead to marriage. But for some reason I just feel too young and too immature to have a home and a husband and a mortgage and to cook, clean, do dishes, plan events… none of that appeals to me. Simply the idea alone gives me anxiety. Do I not feel worthy? No, I don’t think that’s it. Part of me suggests that I’m embarrassed of all it entitles – doing married “things”, having to eventually be a mother, throw birthday parties. I don’t want to be a mother. I don’t want to be a mother. But I don’t know yet if I want to be a wife either; I just want to be a fiancé.
I’ve always been this way though, right? I was always afraid of the “attachment” and of telling my family I was dating someone; I’m glad I lived my younger years this way though… I feel as though I didn’t go through the drama most did. But am I wrong ? I have so, so many friends that just can’t “wait” to have their boyfriends last name. It honestly makes me want to throw up and tell those girls that they live for themselves and no boy should cause them to want to change that. What happened to girl power?
you don't have to be a mother.
ReplyDeletedon't worry about why girls want to get married, just focus on why you want to be with your man, not anyone else.